One of the most difficult addictions to break, and it is as bad as heroin, is the addiction to feeling responsible for everybody else and not wanting to disappoint. It’s a heroin addiction. It really is. It is in your fiber. It’s in your emotional DNA. It is like an addiction. And it’s like being under a bad spell.
You can allow people to have their bad moods. You’re not responsible for their bad moods and, in fact, the reason you’re in so much pain is that you are violating a boundary in trying to make their journey perfect so that you are not upset. You’re actually trying to protect yourself by protecting them so that you’re not upset. It’s YOU! You’re trying to make sure your comfort zone is okay. And what keeps you comfortable is making sure they’re not upset.
Get a grip on yourself. Leave them alone because it’s not about them. People discover that other people actually are fine without them. Become okay with other people being uncomfortable. Say to yourself, ‘I need a stronger gut. I need to be able to endure other people and their life’s journey.’ You go take care of yourself there and leave them alone. They’ll be just fine.— Caroline Myss